10. Secretary won't type anything for her without first seeing a photo I.D.

9. His law library? Two John Grisham novels.

8. "Tort case? Sure, bring it in! And I'd like a cup of coffee with that, please."

7. His "admission to the bar" ended with a taxi ride home.

8. Uses his own Hot Wheels collection to reconstruct the accident.

5. The jury didn't notice she was chewing gum in court -- but then she started blowing bubbles.

4. Pleads with the jury for a chance to pay his last months' rent.

3. Ran out of material in his oral argument to the Court -- used up the rest of his time with card tricks.

2. Giggles every time he says the words "briefs."

And the Number One Sign Your Lawyer is Inexperienced:

1. Her entire closing argument: "That is sooooo not true!"