Franklin v. State of Oregon, 563 F. Supp. 1310 (D. Or. 1983) The prisoner, Franklin, is on a mission from God: "The Lord spoke to me, and he told me to file these lawsuits and said, 'You will win big in your lawsuits,' ... He showed me an enormous gray elephant. He said that the elephant represents the big, gray courts, which is the government. Anyway, I was leading this elephant through every section of this penitentiary. ... I was writing on a yellow legal pad. Each place we came to I'd jot something down and slap the sheet onto the elephant. And they all stuck. The Lord told me the sheets were suits. . ." Of course, he had to file more than 37 lawsuits.

 

In re Kadans, 562 P.2d 490 (Nev. 1977) - Petitioner sought permission to sit for the bar exam without going to law school, claiming he had an exceptionally meritorious background. The court disagreed. Petitioner's academic background included operation of a "university" offering courses on firearms, herbology, refloxology, dance therapy, acupuncture, and of course traffic control. Apparently he was claiming doctoral degrees from other institutions he had never attended. The university, concluded the court, was one and the same as the Petitioner himself. The textbooks were materials run off on a copying machine. One of the books the Petitioner authored was the "Encyclopedia of Fruits, Vegetables, Nuts, and Seeds for Healthful Living." The nature of the university, said the court, and other misrepresentations the Petitioner had made, "cast serious doubt upon the Petitioner's moral suitability to practice law." I dunno -- he sounds qualified to me. A little acupuncture and traffic control are just what the judicial system needs.

Engle v. United States, 736 F. Supp. 670 (D. Md. 1989). Plaintiff alleges the CIA and FBI drugged and hypnotized her, placed electronic monitoring devices in her clothing, and even sneaked into her house at night to take blood from her arm.

Beasley v. Kroehler Manufacturing Co., 406 F. Supp. 926 (N.D. Tex. 1976). This was a civil rights suit by a plaintiff who claimed her employer discriminated against her by hanging artificial snakes in an upholstering plant to scare away birds.

Carson v. Here's Johnny Portable Toilets, Inc., 698 F.2d 831 (6th Cir. 1983). Johnny Carson was not amused by the name of the product in question.

Abdul-Akbar v. Watson, 901 F.2d 239 (3d Cir. 1990). Prisoner complains the photocopying in the prison takes too long.

Franklin v. Murphy, 745 F.2d 1221 (9th Cir. 1984). Prisoner suit, civil rights action. He had filed other cases, including one in which he sued prison officials and hospital for limiting his association with other mentally and emotionally disturbed inmates. Some of his filings were claims that his civil rights were violated by a television announcer calling an 18-wheel truck a 14-wheeler, a prison officer overwatering the lawn, prison's use of aluminum pans for baking desserts; and a federal regulation requiring seatbelts for automobiles but not for horses.

 

Horsey v. Asher, 593 F. Supp. 441 (W.D. Mo. 1983) A prisoner filed a civil rights action because the barbecued ribs served by the prison at dinner "were not as meaty as they should have been."

Worsham v. United States, 828 F.2d 1515 (11th Cir. 1987). Mr. and Mrs. Worsham sued the United States because the wife voluntarily had an affair with a drug rehab counselor.

Pinneke v. Preisser, 623 F.2d 546 (8th Cir. 1980). Plaintiff successfully sued the state for refusing to pay for his sex change operation.

Beal v. Lindsay, 468 F.2d 287 (2d Cir. 1972). Residents in a neighborhood in New York City, who were Blacks and Puerto Ricans, sued the City for not keeping their park maintained because they were always vandalizing it.

 

Vacarro v. Stephens, No. CV-86-0187-SC (9th Cir. 5/1/89) Dispute between two airline passengers over who got to use the toilet first led to citizens arrest, lawsuit and counter-suit. Stephens could not and did not show actual damages, since he got to the toilet first.  ———————–    MORE

EVEN MORE STRANGE BUT TRUE COURT CASES . . . .